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Friday, February 25, 2011

Wal-Martians "Part Deux"

We have all seen people parading about in public who are completely clueless when it comes to dressing themselves. I’m not sure if they just don’t care, or if they actually think they are being fashionable, but I see more fashion faux pas today, than I ever saw growing up. When I was a teenager, I never would have worn a midriff shirt if I had one ounce of skin hanging out over my jeans, but in today’s world it has become the norm to have, not just a little skin, but large amounts hanging out everywhere (fashion term: “muffin top”). The well known fashion term, Plumber’s crack, used to be a reserved style for plumbers only, but that too has become commonplace. In Wal-Mart stores across the country, the plumber’s crack has actually become a ravine, and is sported by both men and women alike. To think that back in 2008, the mayor of Riviera Beach, Florida, Reverend Thomas Masters wanted to outlaw the baggy pants trend in Rivera Beach. I think that craze was tame compared to the atrocities we’ve all witnessed in Wal-Mart. He should take a trip through there and arrest some of those crazy Wal-Martians. The following are just a few common sense rules that people need to follow when going out in public:

1. Do not expose your private parts. That’s why they are referred to as “private” because no one else needs or wants to see all that while they’re buying their meat and veggies. I’m not a prude by any means, but there is a time and place for everything. Even though Wal-Mart has become the place to show off one’s strange, we don’t need to see some stuff.
2. Look in the mirror before heading out on the town. If bits and pieces are hanging out, tuck ‘em back in.
3. Baggy pants that hang off a guy’s butt are for losers, and they look ridiculous. What’s up with that anyway?
4. Make sure clothing fits properly. It has been proven that tight fitting clothing can cause health problems.

There are things that just don’t need to be displayed in public, need I say more?

5 comments:

  1. I love your Walmart pictures and the video you posted. My favorite people are the ones who proudly sport buttcrack, affectionately the "norge." It used to be something seen only on the man fixing the kitchen sink. Now women too can exhibit their nether canyon without being shy. It's also another place to store your pen so it doesn't get lost in the bottom of your purse. Leftover breadsticks? ...Well, you get the idea.

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  2. Ahh yes, the norge. I so forgot about that term from years ago. I would never have thought to keep leftover breadsticks in there. I guess it would be like a mini oven used to soften them up again... EWWWW!! LOL!

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  3. Since I have lost a lot of weight I do have problems with the pants falling down a little bit, so I stay away from Riviera Beach & the Rev. Masters, and I definitely stay away from Wal-Mart!! Maybe I need suspenders (or a whole new wardrobe, but not from Wal-Mart!!!) Okay, I'll keep my pants up, and continue to enjoy your postings!

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  4. I'm always terrified MY picture will be in one of the rounds of WalMartians photos!

    Aieeee!

    BTW, I think these photos fully support the hypothesis that alien life lives amongst us.

    Just sayin'....

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  5. LMAO!! You all are hilarious! Thanks for all the great comments. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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