Renaissance Part Deux

This year's Renaissance Festival was just as fabulous as in years past. On March 12th, Marty and I went with my parents, sister and brother-in-law, and as usual a great time was had by all. We decided to go to a few new shows this time around, instead of sticking to our usual entertainment choices. Marty brought his brand new I-Pad 2, so he could try out the photo and video features, which ended up being a hit with some of the patrons of the festival. Of course I had to do my favorite thing and take pictures because the costumes get crazier and stranger every year.

We missed the Mud Show this year, and ended up choosing an even more unconventional show called Christoph the Insultor. This guy is not only insulting, but is also extremely offensive (that's part of his charm). He warns everyone up front that if they don't like crude and dirty talk, it is not the show for them. What he does is encourage people in the audience to pay for him to insult and humiliate their friends with comments about the way they look, reasons for their lack of sex life, etc. The more you pay, the better and more hilarious the insult. He was entertaining, but he hyped up the fact that his insults were so great before the actual show, that he wasn't as nasty as I thought he would be, or maybe I am just desensitized to our every day vulgar world :-)

Marty brought his new I-Pad 2 with him and gave everyone his own show. When we stopped by the Knight's Pub to get a beer, two nice young men were very excited to take a look at it. We stopped a while to chat with them and show them the features of the I-Pad. They even let me take their picture for Facebook.

Then we all went to an acrobatic type show called the Tribal Circus where two women and a man did a comedy routine with ropes and fire. Marty began video taping, and the guy walking the tight rope made a comment about it during his act.

As usual, I "people watched" and took many pictures, occasionally losing my family in the process. I never tire of the Renaissance Festival because everyone is so unique and strange. A blog simply does not do it justice, so if you have not been there, consider attending next year. It is held during the month of March at Quiet Waters Park in Deerfield Beach, Florida. Tickets are $20.00, and you can get $3.00 off with an empty Mountain Dew can. Here is a slide show of the best photos for this year's festival (2011).

Good Driving Skills or Lack Thereof

I was told when I began driving 30 years ago (yes I am dating myself), "Driving is a privilege, not a right." This is still true today, yet many thousands of people break all the rules and exhibit odd driving behaviors daily. In the past few months it has become increasingly worse, if that is even possible. Florida Representative Irv Slosberg has done a lot to improve the roads of Florida for which he is my hero but, now more than ever, it is important to concentrate on getting some of these dangerous drivers off our roads too. If there was a Federal grant providing money for re-educating every driver in Florida, I would like to take the project on myself. I would also use the grant money to re-train America on the etiquette of driving, since so many of our drivers in Florida are tourists. I would do public service commercials that would knock your driving socks off.

The reason I am so passionate about this subject, is not because I have lost anyone close to me due to bad driving, but rather that I have come inches close to dying myself because some idiot has cut me off, not just once, but probably an average of at least once a year for each of my 30 years driving. I'm not saying my driving is perfect, but I follow all the sensible driving rules, am extremely considerate of others and make sure that I do nothing to risk another driver's life.

I will explain some of the things that I have seen only just recently that give cause for concern. The number one complaint I have and I am sure many people have, is about drivers holding a cell phone to their ear while driving. I do not care who you are, NO ONE, I repeat, NO ONE, has the ability to drive properly holding a cell phone while talking to another. I usually try not to use foul language, but I believe WTF fits perfectly here, especially for those stupid enough to text on their cell phone while driving. Ten and two o'clock drivers! Two hands on the wheel; one at ten and one at two; eyes on the road! This is life or death (big DUH)!

Another problem that Florida has is that everyone is afraid to offend the elderly population. What???? Driving is a privilege, not a right. Anyone over the age of 70, needs to take an extensive driving test, including written and oral exams, and that is all there is to it. There is no need for argument on the subject. This is not trampling elderly rights, it is saving human life and using common sense. People need to put their pride and egos aside, and do what is right for the sake of safety. Just drive through Boynton Beach and see if your own hair doesn't turn white. The people there literally cannot see over the steering wheel. I pulled up to Boynton Beach Boulevard and Congress one day, looked around me and there was not one person under the age of 65. I felt like I was in the movie cocoon. It's not like I am trying to offend, especially since I am only a couple of decades away from old age too. I personally would not be offended if Florida said, "Bonnie you need to take another driving test." If I could not pass it, then by gosh, I would expect to lose my license. The bus is something I've always been curious about.

There are two other issues that go hand in hand. One person is driving 25 miles an hour in the fast lane (for those who don't know, it's the far left lane). The second person is weaving in and out of traffic to get nowhere fast during rush hour, attempting to pass the driver doing 25 mph. Yesterday, I was in the center lane of I-75 on my way to Weston, when this cute little red sports car missed my front bumper by 5 inches (yes I was measuring), trying to get around some young lady on her cell phone in the fast lane going 50. No one is supposed to go 50 in the fast lane of a major highway (just a little bit of common sense trivia). I was frustrated with them both. The passengers in my car looked back at the lady on her cell phone, and she was completely oblivious. She had the stupidest grin from ear to ear, as if she was talking to her lover. It made us laugh, but at the same time, how sad that she would put everyone's life in jeopardy for something that could have been held off until she got to where she was going.

I know I could go on and on complaining and you may say, why doesn't she do something? We all think someone else is going to do something, right? Wrong. Right now, I don't have a lot of time to dedicate to teaching others how to drive properly (unless of course someone would like to pay me to do it). However, I do have time to send an email to my Florida District 90 Representative Irv Slosberg to tell him what he probably already knows and may already be working diligently on. I know one thing, if he can't do something to improve the driving habits in Florida, no one can. Go Irv!

Sign Man - To Twirl or Not To Twirl

Marty and I were out driving today, and noticed that there were an unusual number of people holding those advertising signs by the road. This began our discussion of how much we thought they would get paid to stand out in the hot Florida sun. Granted it is only March, and it is technically spring, but it is still sweltering out there in the heat of mid day. I decided to take some pictures of these sign men for my blog, and wanted to interview one of them. However, the traffic on this particular road is like a race track, and I thought better of the idea.

Instead I went home to the cool, calm of my home and did a Google search to see what a job like this gets paid. I found an interesting
Youtube video that shows what sign advertising (twirling) is and how it is really supposed to be done.

I also found a help wanted ad for a sign twirler in California. The salary for this one is not too bad if you are in need of a job and live in the area.

Apparently, most sign holders get paid minimum wage, but in other states, especially California, they can get paid more depending on how well they twirl their signs and who hires them.

The Liberty Tax sign holders only get paid minimum wage and, for the life of me, I cannot understand how they get them to dance around like idiots for that kind of money. The lady that does it on the corner of Palm Beach Lakes and Congress every morning seems like she is just having the grandest time. I'm not knocking it you see, but you would have to pay me at least 30 dollars an hour for me to hop around like a mad woman with a sign.

It must be a combination of the low pay and the searing sun, because there was no twirling going on today. The sign holder pictured above was at least standing with the sign. This kid seemed way more interested in who was texting him than doing anything else. I can't say I blame him in this heat. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Do you have a friend who...

Do you have a friend who cannot make up his or her mind when it's time to order at a restaurant? This friend peruses the menu for at least 10 minutes, and when the waitress comes over and asks everyone at the table if they are ready to order, they all nod yes. Then she proceeds to ask your friend what she would like. Your friend decides to take this very moment to begin playing 50 questions, "What's in this dish? Is it made with real or imitation meat? What quantity of food do you get with this dish? Is it a large dish? What about this other dish? Do a lot of people like this one? Do you like it? What side dishes are available? Can I substitute apple sauce for green beans? Meanwhile the waitress is trying to remain calm and polite, but she really wants to throttle your friend because the place is extremely busy and her tables are full.

How about the friend who is chronically late? The friend that, if you want him or her to be there at 3:00 p.m., you had better tell that person to be there at 2:30 because he or she runs about a half an hour behind everyone else. Your friend just cannot be on time for anything, even when it is an extremely important event (like work???) and people are counting on this person. It's not just a matter of 10 minutes late, but usually thirty minutes to sometimes as much as an hour late, and it's not just once in a while, but every single time the two of you get together.

Having friends means loving and accepting them even if they have odd behaviors such as these, right? We joke around with them and tease them for being untimely and taking forever to order their food. Sometimes we even get upset with them, but we still come back for more because having friends is one of the best parts about life.

I used to think people who behaved like this did so on purpose, gaining some personal satisfaction out of inconveniencing others. However, I realized as I got older and more mature that they don't even realize their habits sometimes disturb and inconvenience others. If you don't believe me, then the next time your friend is late or takes 5+ minutes to order food, ask them why. They will usually either brush it off and never really answer the question, or they will say, "I don't know." If you get angry at them, most times they will apologize, but they will just do it again the next time. The best way to handle friends like these is to just accept their lack of respect for your time because you are not going to change them. If being late or indecisive is the worst thing about your friend, consider yourself fortunate and enjoy their other, more wonderful attributes.

Cellulite Sells

A few days ago, I was standing in the grocery store checkout like thousands of people do every day, and of course I could not help but look at the many tabloids that stared me in the face. Each week rags like the Enquirer and the Globe seem to focus on a common theme, but the topic of celebrity cellulite seems to be repeated from month to month. Obviously articles and photos on this subject sell subscriptions, or they would not be cluttering the checkout line.

A friend and I were talking the other day about how the media is just plain mean, and asked the question, "Why is mean so attractive to our world?" What is so interesting about seeing famous people in such compromising photos, with their fat hanging out of their shorts or bathing suit? These types of photos send the wrong messages to so many people, especially young women. Message number 1 is that it is not okay to have any fat on your body. Message number 2 is that it is okay to publicly humiliate and be nasty to others. It is no small wonder that our kids are bullying their classmates. These are not good messages to publicize, as it promotes prejudice and cruelness.

Unfortunately though, it may just be that it is human nature to get great pleasure out of seeing beautiful, popular people fall down. After all, seeing pictures like this make celebrities seem more human; more like us. That is why cellulite sells.

Waiting in the Wal-Mart I-Pad Line

I met a really nice lady at Wal-Mart today while I was waiting in line for my new I-Pad2. It was great talking to this lady because she too has a trashy Wal-Mart blog that she refers to as White Trash Repairs, and she said I could put her on my blog.

We started talking about all the weird people waiting in line, particularly this one dim wit who was paying people $40.00 to wait in line to buy an I-Pad. One lady that he had paid cut in front of everyone to stand next to him in line and almost lost her life (kidding). Well, she came real close anyway. Everyone started yelling at her, and Wal-Mart employees almost had to call security, but finally she went to the end of the line. People have absolutely no shame.

There were only about 10 people waiting in line and it took us only 45 minutes to get our new I-Pads. I have to say it was the most fun I've ever had at Wal-Mart.

Charlie Sheen Cartoon

I loved this cartoon that my best friend Loretta emailed to me today. It made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the great laugh Loretta!

Runs Great, Just Missing a Door??

This guy is desperately trying to sell his 1997 convertible Audi on Craig's List. He says it runs great but is missing a door. Call me sensible, but usually if I am trying to sell something on Craig's List, it has all its parts and pieces.


This ad is just one of many that I have seen with similar statements. My husband and I spent most of January and February looking for a used car, before we finally found one that was just as advertised. During our search for the perfect auto, we found so many ads that were like this one. One Craig's List ad said "like new" and when Marty and I went to look at it, the leather seats were all ripped up and it had dents on all sides of the car. It also had paint splatters all over the carpet in the back seat and in the storage area of the car. Marty says there is one thing that he has learned when buying pre-owned items from anyone on Craig's List, "Everyone has their own perception of what "new" is." About 85% of the time, if someone says it's like new, it really is not.

Several questions came to my mind when reading this particular ad. What in God's name happened to the door? Is it possible that he was driving along and the door just fell off? Maybe he was stopped in traffic and he decided to open his door to get some air, when one of those crazy guys on a crotch rocket zoomed by and clipped the door, taking it clean off the hinges. A more important question would be, what makes him think anyone would want to buy a 14 year old car with a missing door?

Well, my curiosity got the best of me, and I decided to call the phone number in the ad. A man who spoke very broken English answered and he told me that "it got into a accident; someone ran into it and broke it off, but I have another door for it that's a different color." That brought me to my next question, "What color is it?" To which he replied, "green." Just what I want to drive around in, a busted up, 14 year old, red audi with one green door --Christmas colors! How attractive! I told him I would call him back because I had to check with my husband before I make my final decision. Of course I have no intention of buying it, but I had to say something, and I did not want to hurt his feelings by telling him what I really thought. I wonder if anyone will buy it.

Clean Yourself Up Charlie Sheen

Oh Charlie… sigh… What denial you are in. Addiction plays tricks on your mind, and has been clouding your judgement for years. When are you going to grow up and get yourself to an inpatient rehab?

Of course I can sit back and criticize like this because I am not an addict, so I have no clue what actually runs through an addict's mind, right? However, In my lifetime, I have had several good friends and family who have had addiction problems. Therefore, I feel my second hand experiences with substance abuse gives me a valid perspective on the subject. I know first hand the hurt and disappointment that these people can cause their loved ones. I've seen, too, how other families have been torn apart by alcohol and drugs. It is sad.

The unfortunate part, Charlie, is that until you grow up and accept your responsibility in all this drama and destruction that surrounds you, it will only get worse. It is extremely rare for a person to quit alcohol and/or drugs cold turkey, like you claim you just did at your Sober Valley Lodge. Really?? Mel Gibson and Colin Farrell are giving you rehab advice?? That is just scary. From what I can see, you are living a big lie right now, and the best thing you can do is check yourself into a real treatment facility. You have tons of money, so you can afford the best. Stay in there until you are better. I have no doubt that once you are completely off the substances, your life will turn around. With all this publicity, and a sober mind, you really could have a "winning" future. Clean up "Sorry Charlie."